Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
pray to the hookup gods
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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