He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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