I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
