Kareoke will never be a sober sport
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
