MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
