You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
this just has baby written all over it
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize