I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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