I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
