as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
