Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
