Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
