New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
