I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
