For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
