I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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