Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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