Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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