dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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