you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
