Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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