Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
