In the future we'll all be gay
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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