And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
