i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
