Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize