So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
