And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
