I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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