I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Still dying that you shit outside
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
