Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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