Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
