he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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