Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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