I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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