I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Come on in and take your pants off
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