you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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