i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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