I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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