My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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