you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize