I molested 6 butterflies tonight
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
