She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I DEMAND FORESKIN
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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