make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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