Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
