Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
