I wanna passion pit in your ass
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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