My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
