the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
