Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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