there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
