she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize