hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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