I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
