thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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