I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
