last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
