yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
