You smell like a Billy Joel song
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
