would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
