And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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